Snarly and Snarky

Today is my birthday. Seems I have no problems with the day before my birthday and no problems with the day after my birthday but in recent years I seem to hate my birthday. Today was no exception. I did get to sleep in as school was closed for the children because of a staff day. I didn't have to go in until 9:30AM so got loads of sleep but then I just woke up feeling like I had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. After the staff meetings at school it was off to Aspire to work all afternoon. I was telling one of my co-workers how "pissy" I was feeling and how I just didn't care for my birthday anymore when she mentioned feeling "Snarly and Snarky". I decided that was a much better way to describe myself feelings about the day.

So why do I dislike my birthday now? Can't say I really know. Is it because I'm getting older? (I'm half way to 110 as I told some of my kindergarten kids the other day, so they decided I must be 70) or is it because of the many years I spent with the lies of what my life was. The other day I was looking for a card I thought I had kept, one that had the picture of "Cindi with an I" on it. I couldn't find it but came across the another old card I had kept that had been given to me about 5 or 6 years ago. In that card, someone proclaimed his love to me, saying that even if he didn't say it or show it the way he should, he has and always would love me. What a joke, but I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Thinking about that card today made me think about how much I want to trust people (men) but find it difficult these days. Which then reminds me how I don't trust myself in my judgement of people in general. Which comes back to my feeling bad on this day that is supposed to be such a big deal.

So I'm still feeling a bit snarly and snarky today but I do know when I wake up tomorrow I'll be back to my old self. Yuck, why did I have to mention the word old??????