Life is Busy

Life has just been too busy for me to take the time to update the blog. Between the holiday season being in full swing, working three jobs and trying to get my Christmas shopping done, I've just been way to lazy to even think about writing about my life.

So please be patient with me and hopefully after Christmas, I'll find time to write and hopefully have something interesting to say!

Meanwhile, have a Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year!

Yakety Yak

I'm always hoping to have new experiences that are interesting and maybe a little out of the ordinary. Little did I know it would include the hide of an animal I never thought I would touch.

I couple of weeks ago I had some friends visiting from Canada, Will and Ed, some of my motorcycle buddies. My friend Michelle from work (Aspire) and her husband Tom also joined us for the evening along with my special friend Russ.

So we are sitting around the kitchen table drinking a little and eating pizza and wings while telling stories and just enjoying each other's company and laughing quite a bit. Somehow hunting comes up and Russ starts telling about the time he shot a Yak. I had never heard this hunting story. I'd heard about the elk in Alaska and the turkey in Texas, but a Yak? So someone say "Where did you shot it?" to which Russ replies "right between the eyes". We all start laughing until someone says, "no really, they are from Tibet, so where in the world did you shot a yak". Russ once again just matter of factly replies "In Ohio". Now we all go hysterical with laughter.

A couple of days later, Russ stops over to drop off some things he had picked up for me. I'm standing in the garage and he tells me to turn around and not look at him while he gets something else out of his truck. Oh wow, I'm thinking, he's brought me a gift. A minute later I feel something heavy over my shoulders. It's the yak skin!

So enjoy some pictures of the Ohio yak. This skin is from the shoulders back as he had the head mounted. I guess he also had the meat butchered. I'm almost afraid to asked any questions about that after the funny answers we got to the other questions about this yak! The second picture is a close-up of the tail. I have since learned that the long yak hair doesn't shed out but the shorter fur that runs along the back can be combed out and spun into a very nice wool yarn that some people claim is nicer the alpaca yarn.

Just in case you are still wondering, Russ did shoot this yak on a game farm in Ohio. He had gone there with a friend not really planning on shooting anything. The owner of the farm asked Russ if he would like to shoot the yak as it was beginning to bother the other animals and was attacking the owner's kids when they were trying to feed the other animals. Yaks are normally a pretty calm animal but this was a Yak who had gone bad.

R & R

Once I get something into my head, it's hard to move it on out. Last night about 8PM I decided it was time to move my bedroom furniture to a different position. I usually have a spring/summer setting and a fall/winter setting. So last night I decide to try a whole different setting that I have used a couple times that I rather like. At 10PM I finally crawl into bed to watch my little TV that now seems a mile away. Since putting the dvr on that TV, the picture seemed so small when I was trying to read the TV Guide.

This morning I wake up and I realize I'm really stiff and sore from all the activity last night so after laying in bed for a half hour, I called into work sick. At 9AM I call into my other job to say I won't be in there either. I decided I've been working way too much, not having a full day off to myself since just about Labor Day. It's a rainy cooler day so a perfect day to get things done in the house.

First I strip the bedclothes off the bed and start washing them. I vacuum in the bedroom then decide with the new furniture arrangement I have room to move my old TV from the livingroom into the bedroom. After moving that and getting the dvr hooked up I try it out and no sound from the TV. I find the two remotes for the TV but even with new batteries they won't work. I finally get the dvr remote to control the TV and yippee, sound!

Time to do more laundry, play on the computer, chat with a friend from Germany, make a couple meatloaf to put in the freezer, make some sloppy Joe's for lunch and dinner, got through some mail, watch some TV in both the livingroom and the bedroom, depending on where I'm working, went though my closest to remove some clothes that I don't wear anymore, downloaded music from itunes, backed up all my downloads to disk and talk to Russ on the phone. Later he stops and picks me up to take me to town to pick up my car which has been in the garage since last week. It was an expensive fix, but now the car is so quiet and sit higher then it has in a while. There is one strange noise in it that I will take it back up to the garage for them to determine what it is, but that will wait until tomorrow or the next day.

Now it's getting dark and I can't believe what a full and enjoyable day I've had! I feel so relaxed and content. I think I'll be able to go back to work tomorrow with a whole new attitude! Guess a little R & R was just what the doctor ordered!!!

More Lyrics

I've mentioned it before and I'm sure I'll mention it many times in the future, but I'm a person who love lyrics. Guess it's my way of enjoying a form of poetry.

Since owning an iPod, I have enjoyed more music, buying a single cut from an album I would never even considered buying. Today I bought a cut from the new Lyle Lovett album "It's not Big, it's Large", an album I learned about when reviewed on CBS Sunday Morning, one of my favorite programs where I have learned about many musical artists that I had never heard off before. John Prine being a perfect example!

So today I decide to check out this Lyle Lovett album because of a cut I heard on the CBS Morning News called "Don't Cry A Tear For Me". The lyrics touched me because I know that soon someone will be walking out of my life.

Don't Cry A Tear For Me

Go if you must go

Turn if you must turn away

Don't Cry a Tear for me

Laugh if you can smile

Run if you are walking away

Don't Cry a Tear for me

Shout if you can speak

Sing if you mention my name

Don't Cry a Tear for me

Low in the Valley

Stand in the wind and the rain

High on the mountain

See the sun shining again

Shout if you can speak

Sing when you mention my name

Don't Cry a Tear for me

So go if you must go

Turn if you must turn away

Don't Cry a Tear for me

Another obsession taken care off

For about a year now, I've been doing research about flat screen TV's. Then my son bought a plasma TV for his fiance'. Next my daughter and her husband bought a LCD TV. I continued to do research, trying to decide what I really wanted, what size would work best in my livingroom, plasma or LCD, 40", smaller? Larger? Do I really want to spend the money? After all, the TV in the livingroom was working just fine and it was only a few years old, maybe 7 yrs at the most.

Then one day while I was looking for paperwork on something else, I found the paperwork on my TV and I realized my TV was at least 13 yrs old! Suddenly I didn't feel so quilty about lusting after a new TV.

Each work I would look online for the best deals at Circuit City and noticed each week they seemed to offer 18 month financing with no interest. This is the type of deal I've taken advantage of in the past very successfully so figured this was the way to go.

This Sunday for some reason, once I checked the ads, I convinced myself that it was the right day to buy the new TV. After church, I called my future daughter-in-law to see if she would be available to bring her truck to the store to pick up the TV for me. Off I was on the bike to go pick out which model I wanted and to apply for the financing. Krista got there while I was waiting for the good word from the bank that my application had been accepted. I took her over to see the two sets I was trying to decide between when the salesman walked up to me and told me that my application had been declined! I was shocked! I have an excellent credit rating. He looked sheepish, explaining it wasn't Circuit City but the Chase Bank that had rejected me. The only reason I could come up with in my mind was the slight mess I had with my taxes this past year that my "taxman" had screwed up on me but I had paid them off and the checks had cleared.

Krista and I walked out of the store, stood in the parking lot talking for a while and were just about ready to say good-bye when my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number but answered. "Ms Striegel? This is George the salesman at Circuit City. The bank just called us to let us know that their computer had a problem and you shouldn't have been declined. Are you still interested in the TV?"

Back into the store we went to finish the paperwork with me finally on the phone with someone from the bank to answer a few secruity questions. The last few questions would be her giving me names and I had to identify if I knew the people or not. Ok, I'm ready, what's the first name. Gerald Cook. OH SHIT, why did he have to come into this whole deal??? I told the lady at the bank, yes I knew him. "Where does he live". I then started to laugh and finally said to her, "that is my ex-husband and I don't care where he lives". She then gave me the town and yes, that is where he lives. Next name, Nicole Cook. "yes, that is my daughter but that isn't her name now, she is married now.

(At this point the rest of the blog for today was lost and I can't remember exactly what I finished the blog with but I'll try anyway)

So I finally get all the financing paperwork done, pick out the TV I wanted and start the paperwork on that. After all was taken care off, the sales guy says to me "I'm going to try to get you some money off of the TV for all we put you through today". Away he walks and of course I'm thinking I should get the TV for free, but when he returns he tells me that I'm going to get $50 off the price. I then try to give him a $15 coupon Krista had given me but he gives it back to me and pulls out a $40 coupon that he uses instead. So I got $90 off the price of the TV!

We get it home and set up and I enjoy the evening playing with the controls getting the best picture and sound for my room. I call Time Warner to take advantage of a 3 month price break on my HD DVR thinking I'll have to wait a couple days for the new cable box to arrive only to learn that my present digital DVR is HD compatiable and only needs the signal sent to it to set it up. How simple is that? Yippee.

I spend the rest of the evening seeing what channels are HD and which aren't and I'm even surprised by how many commericals are HD. As the evening progresses I'm beginning to think that the picture on the HD isn't really anything special. It was time to head to bed, goin in the bedroom and turn on the TV in there and take a look at it and think to myself, wow, what a crappy little picture! How quickly I've been spoiled!!!!!

Quotes

I love learning new quotes, whether they make me laugh or make me think seriously about my life, I like learning something new. Just take a look at the sidebar of this blog to see many of my favorite quotes. Look at the inside of my motorcycle trunk and you will see some rather off-color quotes that make me laugh and make anyone who happens to read them wonder if I really mean any of them. I get some of my favorite quotes from lyrics of songs. John Prine being my favorite in recent years. Look at a book I've read and you might see lots of highlighting, especially if it's a John Irving book. (sometimes it's hard to read a borrowed book that I can't highlight!)

Today I was enjoying my normal Sunday early afternoon ritual and watching CBS Sunday Morning News, which I DVR every week so I can watch it at my leisure after church. One of the features today was about a book about 80 year old people, containing interviews about how they see life at 80. Reporter Tracy Smith was interviewing several of the famous contributors, one being Norman Lear, who among other things is famous for his TV show "All In The Family". When asked "If you could do it over again......". I loved what he had to say, and I'm slightly paraphrasing here, but basically he said "I wouldn't trade anything.... If things go right at any given moment, everything that led up to it has to have been right. All the pain, all the agony, all the bad times. If you are living in the moment and the moment is great, everything that took you there is great"

I loved that! I realized that it's what I have been trying to live in my life in the last few years. Not to have any regrets, but to embrace my life and all that it has been in order to acknowledge that all my past has brought me to where I am today, a very content person! OH sure, I still have some money worries, I've lost some friends, my health isn't what I would like it to be at this stage but all in all, I'm so very happy where I am!! So what if I have some money worries, it makes me take stock of where I am and what is really important and needed in my material life. Sure, I've moved on from some friends, but many of my old friends are still there and even more precious then they were before and new friends are always around the corner to bring a new dimension to my life. My health? Yep, lots of time I ache, but I still get up everyday and go to work, I'm still riding my motorcycle and in the grand scheme of things, my body hasn't really failed me. I can still laugh and smile, l can cry and love, I might be depressed or giddy with joy. Life is good.

So if you like quotes and wonder where they came from , I found through a google search some websites including http://www.quotationspage.com/, where you can type in a quote and hopefully find out who is attribbed the quote. Another of my favorite quotes is "Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History". I was able to locate the author as Laurel Thatcher Ulrich (born July 11, 1938), who is a pre-eminent historian of early America and the history of women and a University Professor at Harvard University.

I am going to try to become a less well behaved woman as I age!

Labor Day?

Where the heck did August go????? I thought July had a nice pace, but August just flew on by.

Tomorrow my life returns to it's normal pace of working at school. I'll also start putting in "after hours" at Aspire to meet with staff who work the 2nd shift. I'm feeling tired already just thinking about it. I'm also playing for at least the rest of the month at my own church while they start the hunt for a new organist. I have already told them I will only be available for one Sunday in October.

The first weekend in October I'll be going to Nicki's for the Regan's annual Octoberfest. The second weekend I would like to go to WV for a Venturer's Ride-In but due to my taxman messing up my taxes, I have to pay some back taxes. (At least he will be paying all the penalties and late fees). The last weekend in October I'll be playing at St John's in Elma as well as the first weekend in November. I have also told them I will return for the winter as their organist, hopefully for the last time.

I started doing physical therapy in July and found out my back had several vertebrae that were not moving. After a couple sessions, one had broken loose and through treatments and exercise I'm living with a lot less pain.

The toughest part of the summer was learning that the man I have been dating/seeing since the beginning of the year, will be moving to NC in the near future as part of a job promotion. We have decided we will enjoy the time we have left together and then see what the future holds. He wants to give NC at least a year and I'm sure he will love it there. Drats, how I hate NC. OH well, I have decided I'm giving up on men (no I'm not becoming a Lesbian - no matter what my ex-husband wants to believe, asshole) but I have found I'm so content with my life now that I don't need a man to make my life complete. Oh yes, it's nice to have a warm body around from time to time, but I just don't think I need to have one around too much. I guess I always was more of a loaner then a people person.

My special friend Russ

Highlights of the summer? WOW, so many! The trip to Springfield, MO for the Women On Wheels (r) Ride-In. Seeing old friends, especially Kate and Liz Greenwood from Mulkeytown, IL and finding that travel by motorcycle with the extra wheels is still part of my life. Traveling to Nicki's for a couple concerts featuring Arlo Guthrie, Richie Havens, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard and Ray Price. Spending time with friends in Canton, OH to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of Pastor and Kate Knauff. Spending time with Russ whenever we had the free time. Working, smiling and keeping the bills paid. And a real highlight was meeting and traveling around the area with fellow Venturers JohnJr, an American living in Switzerland, Rudy from Germany, Romek from Poland and Mike from Ireland. What a blast!

From left to right, Romek, JohnJr, Rudy and Mike at Niagara Falls.

Another fun thing was having some new neighbors move into the area. After much research and debate, it was determined that my new friends are Cooper's Hawks. I haven't seen them lately, but then I haven't been around too much either. It will be interesting to see if they return to the area next summer.

Bird's Eye View

I've been a church organist since I was 13 years old or for 42 years, which ever way I say it, it's been a long time. Most churches that I've played at, I'm usually sitting up front with my back to the congregation. But when I do play at my own church, as a sub, I'm sitting upstairs and can look out over the balcony and see the people below.

It's rather interesting what you see, children playing, some people snoozing, other people paying very close attention to every word and maybe just sitting there because they were made to be there.

Today I played for a funeral of a gentleman who was 90 years old and left behind his wife of 70 years. WOW! What an accomplishment. While listening to the sermon, I was watching the people below and noticed one couple, probably in their late 50's (I'm a very poor judge of age, especially when all you really see are the tops of their heads!) When I first noticed this couple, I noticed the woman and I assume wife, had her hand on the man's knee. Later I noticed they arms entwined and they were holding hands. How sweet!

A few years ago I use to watch a couple, Bill and Buna, as they sat together in their usual pew. I would see Buna rubbing Bill's leg during the service. They were in their 70's at the time. Bill has since died and Buna lives in an assisted living home down the road a piece from the church so is still often in church. But what I remember most about watching them was how I felt like I was seeing the must intimate feelings being expressed by two people who after so many years, they were still so much in love. How Sweet, How endearing, How Romantic, How Real. I would wish for everyone such tenderness of spirit for another person in their lives. What a rare commodity and one to be treasured! OH Bill and Buna, you were truly blessed and I hope the couple I watched today have the same in their lives.

Surreal Weekend

What a strange weekend this was. My ex-husband got married in town on Friday night. I had heard it was going to happen quite some time ago and laughed and smiled the rest of the day, heck, who am I kidding. I smiled and laughed the rest of the whole week!

So the time rolls around for the wedding and I'm doing just fine. My daughter and her family came in for the "festivities" and I couldn't wait to see them. Of course they got here and left right away for a family gathering. No big deal, I knew that would happen. Then Friday I started getting a bit jumpy. I couldn't figure out why when I was so happy that some other woman was going to be stuck with him. Nicki and her husband were getting ready to attend the wedding, leaving their son Sean with me. I got edgier and edgier until I thought I was going to jump out of my skin. Suddenly it came to me in a flash. I wasn't upset about the wedding, not at all. I was upset to think that my children were going to be there to witness that lying son-of-bitch make wedding vows to another woman after the many years he treated out vows like shit. How strange. I can understand that my children love their father, but by going to his wedding I still felt like they were betraying me.

OK all you armchair analyst, go ahead and say to me "get over it". Well, a person can't help their feelings can they? The minute Nicki and Rick walked out the door for the wedding, I felt 100% better. I was glad they were gone, I was glad I didn't have to see them walking around the house getting all dolled up to head out for the big occasion. How strange.

This morning we went out for breakfast and I was feeling so much different than the night before. We enjoyed our time together and then parted ways, me heading out for a ride and them to go to the mall. As it turned out, they were home before I got there. We once again said our goodbyes and they were out the door again to get ice cream then head to the reception. How strange.

I spent the afternoon having lunch with my former daughter-in-law, then going for a nice long ride heading to the windmills to get some pics of my bike then an enjoyable ride home. What a day, what a weird weekend, what an amazing life. How strange.

The Birds, or at least one bird

AUGH! Do you remember the movie The Birds? It is a great Alfred Hitchcock movie, one I watched on a wintry Sunday afternoon with Cory when he was just a little kid. He says he still remembers watching it with me and how it scared him.

Well, I have a bird attacking my house, or rather attacking the bees that have been attacking this house for years. This year seemed particulary bad as far as the bee attacks on the house and so I guess the woodpecked attacking their holes has some good eats hiding out in the wood. I heard the pecking so grabbed the camera hoping to get some pics. I only got a couple and haven't made an identification yet for sure but it looks like it might be a "hairy woodpecker"

I think I hear the woodpecker out on the front of the house now so guess it's time to see if I can get more pictures.

Extra Wheels

I've been riding motorcycles for a few years now (20+) and it's just a part of me. I haven't been able to imagine my life without riding for quite some time. A few years ago a friend added some extra wheels to her bike and made a trip with me and another friend to AZ for a Women On Wheels(r) Ride-In. I remember thinking I would rather give up riding then ever add wheels to any bike of mine! How cavalier of me.

Fast forward a few years and suddenly I'm having some back problems which start affecting my legs and I start feeling like maybe I shouldn't be riding. I found myself doing some rather dangerous stunts when riding so I wouldn't have to put a foot down when stopping. I was so afriad of my leg giving out on me along with the pain it caused to have to lift my leg back up to the riding position.

Then another friend called me to let me know that he no longer needed the extra wheels on his bike as his leg had healed enough after an accident that he was able to ride on two wheels again. Next thing I knew, he was bringing the kit up to attach to my bike.

I take my first ride, heading out the driveway and down the road. Within the first few hundred yards I'm thinking, "this is the biggest mistake I've ever made". Then I get to the first stop sign and I don't have to put down my feet or worry about falling over and I start thinking "hey, maybe I could get use to this". I continue around the block, pull into my yard and tell the people gathered there "well, it's not great, but it's better then sitting in the livingroom in front of the TV". That was just about a month ago and now I have 3000 miles on the bike. I did a good 900 miles getting use to it, then took off for a week trip to Springfield, MO. I'm riding every day, back and forth to work, doing grocery shopping, running errands and going for ice cream. I'm on the Road Again and I couldn't be happier. Another lesson learned. Never say Never!

Mom feel and broke her hip

I haven't posted in such a long time. So here is my list of excuses

1. Mom fell and broke her hip, had surgery, went to rehab, will come home tomorrow

2. School just ended last week with the last couple weeks being crazy

3. Extra hours at my second job with lots of meetings, training, etc.

4. Mom fell and broke her hip, had surgery, went to rehab, will come home tomorrow

5. Weather has been so hot, I'm just whipped, spending time in pool to cool off

6. Had family reunion here last weekend so had to clean up

7. Mom fell and broke her hip, had surgery, went to rehab, will come home tomorrow

8. Been to hot to do anything in a room that isn't air conditioned

9. Mom fell and broke her hip...........

Oh, OK, so I've just been lazy. Actually thought of several really good posts to make, but always think of those things while mowing the lawn and then when I get back into the house I forget it. But Mom did fall and break her hip, had surgery, went to rehab and does get to come home tomorrow and now I can see how my life is changing. I've had to take over her finances, not that she was doing a bad job, but there were things that she was paying for that she didn't need and she thought she had removed her name from things and yet things were still coming. I've taken care of that for her. Now I'm getting all her bills on direct debit or payments online. I can view her banking online now and keep track of things that way also.

Next week I'm planning on leaving for a few days and just hope that my body will allow me to do the miles that I plan to do and also hope that my mind will allow me to not think that I'm a terrible daughter for leaving my Mom home alone. Looks like a number of her friends will be checking in on her and hopefully Mom will realize that she is 83 and needs to take things a bit easy.

Next post will hopefully have some wonderful pictures from my trip.

Oh The Dilemma!

I'm not the best housekeeper in the world. I guess that goes back to being spoiled rotten by my maternal grandmother who lived with us and felt she needed to earn her keep. The house was always spic and span. Funny thing is, I never saw her do any housework, it was always done!

So this morning I'm finally getting around to hanging up some clothes in my closet. Probably about 10 tops in various colors and styles. Since my divorce I have become a bit of a clothes nut especially now that I need to wear nicer clothes at my one job. Once I find a style that I like and I feel it looks good on me, I have a tendency to buy that style in many different color. I happen to look better in pastels so wear many different shades of yellow, green, blue, pink, etc. During the winter months I'm more likely to wear darker colors.

So I like to put the hangers in my tops laid out on the bed, then hang them in my closet. Today I'm looking at the clothes laying there and I begin wonder, should I have all the same styles together or the same colors together? In the past I have gone by style, all polo shirts together, all v-necks together, mock turtleneck sleeveless together, etc. Oh but wait, that seems to only cover the light weight clothing! My winter type tops are separated by color! Then I notice all my sweatshirts hung by color and long-sleeve tees by color, light first then the darker colors.

OMG, I'm so anal! Why has this become such a dilemma in my life? So here I sit writing about the dumbest thing I could possibly think of, and yet I'm also fighting the need to head into the bedroom and move all my clothes around! Oh well, this is the first weekend I have all to myself since last fall, so I guess if I want to re-organize my closets, no one can stop me!

Kanji Tattoos

Sorrow

Kanji is Chinese lettering which is very popular in the tattoo world. There are some funny stories about people getting Kanji done only to find out later that the artist had messed up work and the symbols say things other then what the collector had intended.

I have a couple Kanji on my leg as part of my leg piece. I have often wondered if what I meant to say with my Kanji is what it actually says. I had done research online to fine the symbols for "family" and "joy" but when my artist did them, I was afraid he had changed them a little bit too much to be artistic rather the factual.

This past weekend I attended the Woodstock-Ulster County Fine Arts Festival and met a delightful woman from Alfred, NY who would do any Kanji symbols you wanted and frame them. I had looked at the ones she had done but didn't see anything I wanted. We got to talking and I asked her if she could show me the word "sorrow". It's a word I want tattooed and have done some research but have seen several different versions. She took a piece of rice paper and prepared her brush and started putting ink to paper as she explained the process. I was thrilled to recognize the kanji she produced knowing that I was on the right track. She then added another symbol that turned it into "sorrowing". Then she showed me what "sad" looks like. Then she wrote my name, Cindi. I asked her how much she would sell me that piece of rice paper for and after thinking she handed it to me as a gift.

My name in Kanji - Cindi

I was so happy that I got brave enough to ask her if she could read the Kanji on my leg. I lifted my shorts and she looks and smiled and said, "oh, it's says family happiness". I was so happy! I don't have to worry about it anymore, what I wanted is what I got and is recognizable to people who really do read kanji!

This artist will be at a show in Lockport next weekend and then the following weekend at the huge show in Buffalo, the Allendale Art Show. I loved her work and will try to catch up with her so I can get some of her work. She does rice paper and watercolor of koi, cranes and other beautiful Chinese imagines.

Happy or Sad Ending?

I've been getting a little more reading done recently and it got me to thinking about what kind of ending I like to see in a book, which of course made me wonder what kind of ending my friends prefer.

One of my all time favorite books is "Gone With The Wind". Guess I related just a little too much with Scarlett (yes, we are both selfish bitches). What a wild romance Rhett and Scarlett had and what a strong and independent woman Scarlett could be when she set her mind to it. When a sequel came out a while ago, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it to see how the author would finish the story. The original story has Rhett walking out on Scarlett saying "frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" leaving Scarlett in tears but finding a resolve to get Rhett back, that "tomorrow is another day" pledging to return to her home Tara to regain her strength. Boy, can I relate!

So the sequel comes along and has this wonderful happy ending with Rhett and Scarlett finding their way back to each other. I couldn't believe how disappointed I was with this happy ending! I felt like the power of GWTW had been stolen from me. So I guess I can say that I don't always want or like a happy ending.

On closer examination, I have decided what really sells me on a book are the characters, not the ending. If I can get totally involved with the characters, both their faults and strengths, then I guess it really doesn't matter how the book ends. Take for example one of my all time favorites, John Irving's "The World According to Garp". It has a very tragic ending and yet, there is a hope to it that I can't quite explain. You could say the same about "The Hotel New Hampshire".

I recently finished reading "Vanishing Acts" by Jody Picoult. I have enjoyed many of her books. This one had a great ending. Rather happy I guess, but also left many little loose ends. I loved the character development so when not everything was totally resolved, I realized how much I liked the ending because it allowed me to use my imagination to create more about the characters.

A friend of mine recently shared that when she reads a book, she always reads the last chapter long before she has read the rest of the book. She says she can then enjoy the story more as it develops because she already knows how the story ends so she can concentrate on how the book was written and develops. An interesting idea but not one I would do during my reading. I prefer to see if the ending has an unusual or interesting twist to it. Some books have truly surprised me. It might not have been the ending I hoped for, but still if it takes me by surprise, I'm still pleased.

Ah, I think I have another topic brewing, comparing books to their screenplays!

Happy Reading!

PS, I think I know what Widow with Dog's answer will be!

Everything Will Be Alright

My Dad, back in the 40's

It's funny how sometimes things just seem so out of control. Your emotions become jumbled, an unexpected bill or two suddenly appears, someone special in your life may make a life change that affects you, who know what all, but sometimes it just seems to be a bit overwhelming.

Then all of a sudden, you know that everything will be alright. Whether you just believe that all things happen for a reason, if you think that what will be, will be or maybe you just know that what does happen is for the best in the long run.

Lately I've wondered about my life. A special man came into my life about Christmas time and things had been progressing very nicely. Suddenly out of no where, he is offered a job/promotion that would mean he will have to move out of state. WHAM! It blindsided us both. Add to that both the state and federal government deciding that I owed them taxes (I don't but I'm letting my tax man take care of that) and then getting a bill that I hadn't expected from my snowplow guy for all the additional plows he had to do this year beyond my contract limits. WOW, what the heck is going on.

Then Saturday morning I woke up and felt pretty darn good. The sun was shining, it was warm, got a new battery in the bike so I could go riding and suddenly the world looks like a brighter place. This afternoon I get a surprise phone call from my guy and he comes over to spend part of the afternoon with me and I'm feeling even better.

Tonight I was out mowing the backyard and there I found a turkey feather. Probably doesn't sound like much of an earth shattering thing to you but to me it's always a sign. For years my Dad would collect bird feathers he had found in the yard and stick them in his cap, mostly bluejay feathers. Since he has died (Jan 1999) I have taken to picking up feathers when I see them, not just because they are a beautiful sign of nature but because they remind me of Dad and I can't help by believe he's giving me a sign that everything will be alright. I'm still here watching over you and no matter what, you will be OK. When I saw that turkey feather tonight, I broke out into a huge smile and thought "Thanks Dad, I needed you to remind me that indeed I will be OK no matter what happens".

What did Dickens kill now?

I have a wonderful pet, a cat that I named Dickens because she usually is a Dickens. I adopted her from the SPCA several years ago. She is a pleasure to be around and a wonderful companion. She is an excellent mouser which is fine, but she also is a good birder which does not make me happy. She is incredibly inquisitive when it comes to just about anything that moves including running to my printer to watch anything it happens to spit out at her. I've caught her up in my Christmas tree where at least she didn't do any damage. Below is a picture of her watching the turkeys in the backyard. At least she knew enough not to attack them!

The other day I walked out to the deck to bring in firewood (something I shouldn't be doing at this time of year) and I found a poor little dead chickadee which I knew had been Dicken's latest victim. Today when I walked out I didn't see the little body where I had left it but after picking up a couple pieces of wood to throw on the deck I noticed this little body laying exactly where the Chickadee had been left a few days ago. I think it's a weasel but having never seen one up close I'm not exactly sure. First off it was much smaller then I thought it should be unless baby weasels have already been born. The few weasels and minks I have seen in the past were just darting across the road in front of my car and I'm sure they were bigger then this sad little specimen. The board the critter is laying on is a 2" x 6" so that gives you an idea of it's size.

What a sad saga for a dreary day. My friend Russ is coming over soon and I'm sure he will be able to confirm what this little critter is/was. But then again he is use to stalking much bigger prey then what Dickens does.

Snarly and Snarky

Today is my birthday. Seems I have no problems with the day before my birthday and no problems with the day after my birthday but in recent years I seem to hate my birthday. Today was no exception. I did get to sleep in as school was closed for the children because of a staff day. I didn't have to go in until 9:30AM so got loads of sleep but then I just woke up feeling like I had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. After the staff meetings at school it was off to Aspire to work all afternoon. I was telling one of my co-workers how "pissy" I was feeling and how I just didn't care for my birthday anymore when she mentioned feeling "Snarly and Snarky". I decided that was a much better way to describe myself feelings about the day.

So why do I dislike my birthday now? Can't say I really know. Is it because I'm getting older? (I'm half way to 110 as I told some of my kindergarten kids the other day, so they decided I must be 70) or is it because of the many years I spent with the lies of what my life was. The other day I was looking for a card I thought I had kept, one that had the picture of "Cindi with an I" on it. I couldn't find it but came across the another old card I had kept that had been given to me about 5 or 6 years ago. In that card, someone proclaimed his love to me, saying that even if he didn't say it or show it the way he should, he has and always would love me. What a joke, but I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Thinking about that card today made me think about how much I want to trust people (men) but find it difficult these days. Which then reminds me how I don't trust myself in my judgement of people in general. Which comes back to my feeling bad on this day that is supposed to be such a big deal.

So I'm still feeling a bit snarly and snarky today but I do know when I wake up tomorrow I'll be back to my old self. Yuck, why did I have to mention the word old??????

Lyrics or Music, now that is the question!

I have mentioned before how much I love the music of John Prine or maybe I should say that what I really love are his lyrics. I've had a number of artists whose lyrics have touched my heart and on many occassion helped me get through a rough time. Two being Carly Simon and Alanis Morissette who both write wonderful lyrics, often using an album to tell a whole story. If you look at Morissette lyrics from album to album, you see how she dealt with a lost love and the bitterness that can take place until finally she finds peace and strength, something I would like to think that I have done as well.

The Bitterness is expressed so well in "You Oughta Know" from the Jagged Little Pill Album

"Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And everytime you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you

of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know"

It was almost 10 years later on her album "So-Called Chaos" finally shows the peace she has found especially in the song "The Grudge"

"So who's it hurting now?

Who's the one that's Stuck?

Who's it torturing now, with an antique knot in her stomach

I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old

All this time I've not known how to rest this bygone

I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released

I want to forgive for the both of us

But who's done whining now?

Who's ready to put down

This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember"

I feel so blessed to get beyond the grudge in my life so quickly. I seldom listen to the Morissette CDs now because of the reminders of the pain and bitterness I did feel just a few years ago. I would rather listen to happier lyrics to match how my life is going now.

So how/why do you listen to music? Are you into the music and rhythms? Or are you more like me listening to the all important lyrics to see how they might reflect your life and moods?

That being said, sometimes it's just fun to listen to the music for a catchy tune and hear a lyric that just twists the words with some interesting and meaningful or perhaps just plain silliness of thought. Soon I'll write about my favorite John Prine lyrics.

Drats, the weekend is over already!

Another weekend has passed by too fast. I guess I was just busy enough to make it seem to fly by.

Saturday I had my taxes done. I couldn't believe it but I moved up a tax bracket. Guess I worked just a little to hard last year. So even after paying my estimated taxes, I still owed money. But then it was sort of nice to know that my hard work has paid off.

I left the tax office and headed to Holland to visit at Roadhouse Tattoo. I hadn't been out there in some time so had some catching up to do with Tattoo Joe.

Next it was home for a short time before it was time to head to church for the Saturday evening service. When I got home from there it was time to set all the clocks ahead for Daylight savings hoping that I set up the TV in my bedroom so that it was turn on at the right time on Sunday morning to wake me up. I also spend a couple hours on the phone catching up with my friend Nancy. We talk way to seldom so always have sooooo much to catch up on with each other.

Eureka, the TV started at the proper time and it was up and ready for church Sunday morning. For some reason my left leg was killing me today whenever I got off the organ bench. I certainly hope that I don't feel that I have to return to this job next winter as the pain of playing is getting to be too much to bare. No money is worth that much pain.

Sunday afternoon was laundry, knitting, getting firewood in and a bit of relaxing including watching the new RobinHood series on BBC America. I have to agree with Nancy (Widow with Dogs) that this series does not in anyway live up to the older series "Robin of Sherwood".

Now it's time to go to bed and get ready for the week long grind. I'm hoping to get to the gym tomorrow if I can stand to fight the normal Monday night crowd. I had been trying to go on Tuesday and Thursday but I'm going to try Monday and see how that works out. I'm looking forward to getting to work at Aspire tomorrow so I can congratulate Tim for passing his CDL B road test on Friday. Tim is a fellow "Freak" (another story for another time) and was the first person I've trained at Aspire to get his CDL. I was pleased to hear he passed even though Judy had left me a voicemail telling me that Tim had failed because he had hit a telephone pole and a fire hydrant. To think that I was believing her, right up until I heard the laughter in the background! Geez, I had thought I wasn't as gulliable as I use to be!!!!!

Next Friday I have company coming, my friend from The Venturers, Will and his wife, Peggy. We are going out for dinner that night and hope to have BongoBob and his wife, Becky join us for a little Venturer bonding. Gee, I guess with all that fun that means next weekend will probably fly by too fast as well. Drats!

My Gramma Phillips

35 years ago today, my Gramma Phillips died at the age of 79 after fighting cancer. Gramma was a huge influence on my life. She was a loving, hardworking women who always felt like she had to earn her keep to live with us. Grampa Phillips died one week before I was born, suddenly with little warning. My family was living in the apartment upstairs but moved to our own house the next year. When my dad learned that Gramma had basically stopped eating after we had moved to our home, he told my Mom to tell Gramma to pack her bags and move in with us. How many men have you heard about that insisted that their mother-in-law move in? From that moment on, Gramma took over most of the household "duties" so that my Mom could work up the road at the Elma Nursery. Gramma spoiled me rotten. When I got home from school my room was cleaned, my clothes put away, maybe fresh bread was baking in the oven when I walked in with homemade jelly or jam waiting to be spread on the bread as an after school snack. If there was one piece of pie left, she would save it for me. She was just that type of woman. Like I said, she spoiled me rotten. When she died, my world collapsed. As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, she died the day I came home from the hospital with my first baby, Nicole Caroline, Caroline being Gramma's middle name as well. Below is a picture of Gramma that I treasure. What a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. Even after all these years tears come to my eyes to think of how much I miss her and how I regret my kids never got to know the woman that had such a huge impact on my life. I love you Gramma!

The second picture is one of the few pictures I have of my Gramma and Granpa Phillips. I like to call this picture "The Sweethearts". I never knew Granpa but have heard many stories about him and if I'm allowed a regret in my life, it's that I never got to meet him. I've often thought about the game where you are supposed to think of a few people you would have dinner with who were famous, living or dead. I have often thought I would like to have dinner with my Granpa just so I could find out for myself if he was the same man I heard so much about. It will be 55 years ago on March 23rd that Granpa died.

I'm just plain Mad

It's just one of those days. I'm mad/sad as Hell and know there's nothing I can do about it but vent through this blog. I hate it when life seems to go out of control. Even though I'm OK, a good friend is not and while I admire her strength and resolve, I'm still angry that she has to go through what she is going through.

I HATE CANCER!

Tomorrow it will be 35 years since my wonderful Maternal Gramma died of Cancer. It was also the same day I came home from the hospital with my new baby daughter. Gramma had lived with us since I was little girl and we had been very close. While I was pregnant I had the feeling that she would never hold my baby, the little girl she knew I was having while we were all saying it would be a boy. The day I went into labor, she had just undergone what was considered 4 major surgeries at the age of 79. Mom called to tell me that Gramma had survived the surgery, and I remember feeling what a relief. Within moments my water started to break. I gave birth the next morning and when Mom and Dad came to visit, I was assured that Gramma was doing just fine. Finally I was told that things weren't really going well, but that Gramma had been able to come out of her rantings of speaking to her lone gone brothers and sisters, put on her glasses, sit up in bed and look at pictures of my baby, say that she understood that I had a little girl, laid back in bed and went right back to her almost como like state. The next day I came home, then received the phone call that Gramma had died that morning.

Cancer, The Big C, the whispered word, the anger, the frustration, the secret, call it whatever you will, I hate it. It has taken my Grandmother, one of my uncles, two of my cousins at ages 25 and 51, brothers who ended up getting the same cancer, another cousin's wife, countless friends.

Tonight I got a call from a friend from work. After fighting off breast cancer about six years ago, she is now facing the fact that the cancer is now back in her body in her other breast. She has put on such a brave face for us all for so long and now that damn cancer is back in her body and she must once again put on the fight for her life. Last year she had told me she already had her funeral planned but we all had been so hopeful that she would still win the battle. After having a mammogram this morning, she knows there are seven tumors in her breast and two under her arm.

Below are two pictures of Laura from last spring when she and I went to do a little yard work at another friend's house who had been away for the winter.

Laura is always making me laugh and of course hamming it up for the camera, but now that I look at this picture it makes me think of her spirit and perhaps saying to the cancer, "kiss my ass cancer and get out of my body". Never give up the fight Laura!!!!

AMA and DVD

I know, I know, it's been a while again since I posted last. Between the snow and cold temps, I have sunk into a terrible winter blahs. One kind of neat thing did happen recently. I received my Charter LIfe Membership in the AMA (American Motorcyclist Association). I can't believe that I'm coming up on 25 years as a member. Where has the time gone?

So what is going on? Work and watching the snow melt ever so slowly. But I had gotten some great new DVDs to watch during the winter time blues.

My daughter, Nicki and her family got me the complete Black Adder Collection, an English comedy with Rowan Atkinson staring as Edmund, Black Adder in different generations. Sometimes he's a complete fool, other times he the bright one but surrounded by less then intelligent cast of characters. The shows are a delight and I never tire of them.

Another British program that I enjoyed in the past was Robin of Sherwood which was shown on Showtime many years ago. After more years then I want to think about, it has finally been brought out in DVD formatted for the USA. I'm just hoping that they bring out the other two seasons of this wonderful show. Thanks to this show, I became a fan of the Irish singing group Clannard who did all the music for the show. There is also a new Robin of Sherwood series coming soon, hopefully to be seen on BBCAmerica. It will really have to be special to top this series.

Today I received my copy of Long Way Round. Ironically, another British program. Movie stars Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman decide to leave London on their BMW motorcycles and right around the world. I had never heard of this program until I read about it on my Venturers.Org online motorcycle club/message board. I believe it was shown on the Bravo channel. After learning about it, I had to have it along with the book written by Ewan and Charlie about their experiences during the trip.

Now I'm just waiting for the DVD I just heard about of a PBS concert of John Prine from the 1970's. I have ordered it and will receive it when it's released in March of this year. I can't wait! I suppose pretty soon I'll be complaining that the weather is too nice to be inside watching this great collection of DVDs.

A Double Edged Sword

Blogs are wondrous things. You can pour your heart out in the words of your blog. You can spread your soul out for anyone or everyone to see. You can say things that might be better left unsaid if the wrong person reads what you have to say. You could hurt someones feelings even if a comment isn't directed to them, but they perceive it as directed at them. You can share you joys and sorrows, your highs and lows, your triumphs and failures, your fears and courage.

A few years ago I wrote my annual Christmas letter sharing the news that I was divorcing my husband of over 30 years. For some, it was the first hint that this was happening and I received many phone calls of support. For other people it was just an update on what they already knew what was happening. Only one former friend attacked me for what I wrote but after my initial reaction of sadness, I remembered that the therapist I had been seeing had told me it was a good idea to write that letter and I took comfort in the idea that I had done the right thing. Besides the former friend hadn't been much of a friend for a number of years and I had been distancing myself from her anyway.

I guess those who know me best know what an open person I am. My life is an open book. I've never been afraid to share with people what I've learned in my life including what I've learned about myself even if it isn't flattering. Some of my family has told me that what they like about me most is my honestly and openness that they know when I say something it will be blunt, to the point and maybe even brutally honest. In fact, some would say that in that aspect, I'm turning into my mother!

So at this point in my life, I find myself in an interesting position. I have some things going on that I can't talk about, especially in a blog that is open to the world to see. I have become involved with a wonderful man but I'm not at liberty to talk about him until he gets some things taken care of in his life. These were things that were started before I met him but still have an impact on our relationship. I'm learning that I have more patience then I ever would have given myself credit for. Another thing that I'm dealing with will involve my lawyer as more proceedings are started but no details can be shared here at this time.

Like I said, Blogs are wondrous things. You can share what you want or what you feel is safe. Hopefully it won't be long before I'll be sharing more.

Happy Groundhog Day!

I know it's silly, but Groundhog Day is one of my favorite days of the year. I have traveled through Punxentawney, PA on several occassions just to say that I've been there. Sometimes I stop and take pictures. Here are just a few.

Groundhog .org - the Official Site of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club
Dunkirk Dave's Groundhog Haven!

Ridge Lea Larry takes a break, but he'll be back next yearFor 15 years, Ridge Lea Larry, the Department of Geology's groundhog, symbol of winter's mid-point and all-around mascot dressed in custom-made threads and top hat, has lightened the dreary winter blues by predicting whether or not there will be six more weeks of winter.
But on Groundhog Day this year, the stuffed woodchuck did not see his shadow-or anything else. Depending on whom you asked, Ridge Lea Larry was either "under the weather" or on sabbatical. But it's only a temporary setback: Larry will be back on Groundhog Day, Y2K.

OH MY GOSH!

WOW, I can't believe how long it's been since I posted last. I could make up a million excuses, but they would be lies. I think I've just been to lazy to update anything.

Things are wonderful in my life for the start of 2007. I'm working hard as usual which wears me out, but I'm usually able to catch up with things on the weekend. Things at Aspire are going well with my new boss. He has told me he wishes I would come on full time at Aspire but I have told him that it won't happen, that I'm too happy and have too much time in at school to give it up at this point. I'm also pleased to hear Don refer to me as his assistant when he is talking to other people about me. It looks like my job is changing there and I'm really quite happy with that. I've been very busy so the time just flies by. The one down side to working at Aspire is that I have become addicted to getting hot chocolate on my way to work, thanks to the many gift certificates I got as Christmas presents from Tim Hortans and Dunkin' Donuts. Lately I've been getting a bagel as well to munch on at my desk. And just in case you have ever wondered, the Dunkin' Donuts White Hot Chocolate is really good! I have also learned that if I don't get the whipped topping, the Hot Chocolate doesn't cool off as fast but then I have also learned that if it gets too cold, adding just a little water and then reheating in the microwave works just fine.

I have also returned to my winter church organist gig and even though it feels natural to be there, it's also becoming quite painful to get on and off the organ bench. I have informed the Pastor and the music and worship committee that this could be my last winter playing. I need to give it some time to see if I can work past the pain and also see how busy my weekends are going to be.

Which leads me to mention that a new man has come into my life. We are at the very beginning of getting to know each other but so far it looks like our relationship is going to be a good one. As much as we enjoy different things, we enjoy each other's company and also share many interests. I feel blessed to have a new friend to share the new year with.

El Nino weather keeps Western New York temperatures above normal and snowfall well below normal. We haven't been able to start ski club yet, while I miss the money, I don't mind getting home earlier on what would have been ski club trips. Today we are having freezing rain with much colder temperatures coming in a couple days. Tomorrow is a day off from work from all my jobs and I was looking forward to getting errands done and having lunch with Bev (who is leaving on Tuesday for the next 4 months) and Laura. But with the weather being a factor, I might just stay home and knit. I can't say that I won't mind a complete day to myself to veg, knit and watch TV.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to one and all!

Here's hoping for a wonderful, happy, healthy year.